Ars’s Duke Nukem Forever Review

I’m not a gamer. Nevertheless, like many, I have been fascinated with Duke Nukem Forever as the prototypical example of vaporware. It’s been in the works since 1996 and never seemed to be released. A few days ago, finally, it has been.

Although it looks like it would have been better if it was never released at all.

According to the Ars Technica review it’s a pretty horrible game. Not just bad — but bad:

In the first few moments of Duke Nukem Forever, your character pees in a urinal and then earns an achievement for reaching into a toilet and extracting a piece of human excrement. Why does the game reward you for doing this? I have no idea. It’s not part of a joke or important to the story; the designers of the game apparently feel that you would miss out by not holding some poo in your virtual hand.

But infantile humor is not the worst. The game appears to contain rampantly offensive story elements.

Ars Technica:

Just in case you didn’t feel like the game had adequately rubbed your nose in its horrific depiction of women, Duke arrives at a point where two nude ladies promise to lose their pregnancy weight from bearing their alien children, and they plead with you to let them live. (These are the same characters who performed fellatio on you during the beginning sequences of the game.)

The only way past this section of the game is to kill both women.

That’s just poor, poor taste.