Today’s youth has forgotten the real Easter Story. The story from which the Easter tradition originates: the death and return of Jebus, the Easter bunny and colored eggs. It’s a pity, because it’s a nice children’s story, one that should not be forgotten.
What? You don’t know the story either? Alright, let me tell you.
Once upon a time, about two thousand years ago, there was a special man. His name was Jebus and he was about thirty years old. He was a very interesting person, his father was a carpenter and learned his son everything he knew. His mother, Mary, was a house wife, there was not much interesting about her. Jebus could build anything you would want: tables, chairs, desks, it really was quite impressive. But Jebus’ skills were much greater than just carpeting. He became famous for being able to cut bread into many, many pieces by hand without using a knife. Also, he was the best, the very best at ice skating.
The king of the country that Jebus lived in didn’t quite like how popular Jebus was. He was very jealous of him. He was jealous enough to want… to kill him. Yes, the king was a very angry and evil man. It was hard to find out where Jebus would go before he got there. He went from place to place on his ice skates and fast and clever as he was, if the king thought he was going to the right, he could easily turn and go to the left instead. Jebus had many friends who often came along and skated with him. One of them was Jubas. He had been skating since he was a little kid. His father had been skating champion and his mother was great at ice dancing. Jubas’ parents were very demanding. They figured that because Jubas was the son of two skating champions, he would have to be the best ice skater in the world. And Jubas, indeed, was the best ice skater in the country, until Jebus came along. Jubas was extremely jealous. Still he followed Jebus wherever he went, hoping to discover his secret.
Jubas followed Jebus for three years, but never found Jebus’ secret. Jubas had enough of it. He knew where Jebus would go next and decided to tell the king about it. The king was very happy with Jubas telling him and gave him a lot of gold for it. But Jubas felt really bad accepting the gold. His parents always told him gold is something you win, not something you get for betraying Jebus. Still, he took the money, he thought he could use it to buy better ice skates, his current ones were getting really old. The king told Jubas to point out who Jebus was by kissing him on the cheek.
That Thursday, as Jebus and his friends had dinner, Jebus had some bad news. He said he would be gone soon. One of his friends was going to betray him that evening and he would be killed. The good news was that Jebus intended to return to life on the third day after his death. Jebus’ friends where confused. Who would betray Jebus? And for what? Jubas was also there and started to feel bad. How did Jebus know he was going to betray him, he thought. Still, Jubas couldn’t call it off and kissed Jebus on the cheek. The king’s guards came and arrested Jebus.
When Jebus came to the king on Friday, the king was very angry. He asked Jebus to tell him why he was so popular. What his secret was. Jebus was more popular than the king himself! And clearly, that was not how it was supposed to be. The king asked Jebus how to cut the bread into pieces with his hands. He asked how to build the marvelous chairs he made. He also asked how he could skate so well. Jebus did not answer. This made the king even more angry. He said he would teach him a lesson by killing him. That evening two guards nailed Jebus to a cross. His friends were there, but were afraid to do anything about it. Jebus’ mother, Mary and his girlfriend, also Mary, were there too. They were very sad and cried. Jebus died quickly.
Jebus’ friends couldn’t stop crying. What would they do without Jebus? He always had been so nice to them. He learned them new skating tricks and always gave them plenty to eat. For their birthdays they often got furniture. Where would they get such nice furniture now? They really were lost without him. They didn’t do anything during the whole of Saturday. They cried and told each other stories about all the adventures they had with Jebus. Then when it got late, they fell asleep.
The next morning Jebus’ friends decided to visit Jebus’ grave. Jebus had been buried in a cave, at the top of the mountain. It was quite a climb to get to it. When they finally arrived they saw that the grave had been opened. That was surprising. They decided to go in. But what had happened? Jebus was gone! Suddenly Jebus’ friends heard a voice from their right. There sat a very big bunny rabbit with a basket on his back. He told them he had been sitting there for hours, waiting for them to come. The friends asked where Jebus had gone. The bunny wondered if they forgot what Jebus had said the evening he was arrested. They did. The bunny sighed. He reminded them that Jebus would get back to life on the third day. Today was Sunday, so that was the third day. The friends were very happy. They asked the bunny where Jebus had gone. The bunny said it was not that simple. Jebus had been reborn. Jebus’ friends were confused. It means you are born again, the bunny explained, but the friends still did not quite understand. The bunny explained even more. Jebus had been reborn inside an egg, like a chick. So what they should do is try to find the egg from which Jebus had been born again. The friends understood, but where would they look for this egg? The bunny had a mysterious look on his face. He didn’t say anything. The next moment the bunny was gone.
Jebus’ friends decided to start looking. Without much effort they found an egg. That was easy, they thought. But how would they know if Jebus was in there? It was quite small. One of them, John, decided to put his ear on the egg and listen if he heard anything inside. He heard something, a very high squeaking. Then something unexpected happened. The egg broke… and out came a little chick. It was bright yellow. John hesitated. Was… was this Jebus? His friends started laughing. Of course it was not, Jebus was not a chick. They continued looking. They decided to fan out, to find Jebus’ egg quicker. It turned out there were a lot of eggs around. They put their ears on them to listen. John was followed by the little yellow chick everywhere he looked. When John looked behind him the chick quickly hid behind a rock.
Instead of the chick, what he saw was that Pete, another of Jebus’ friends was listening to an egg that John already checked before. He yelled to Pete that he had already listened to that egg and Jebus was not in there. Pete didn’t know, how could he? Then Pete came up with an idea. He quickly ran home and came back with loads of buckets with paint in different colors. Blue. Red. Yellow. Orange. Purple. Pete’s plan was that after you listened if Jebus was inside an egg, you would paint it so that it was clear to the others that you had checked it and Jebus was not in there. It was a great plan.
John, Pete and their friends had started to look at the West side of the mountain, but with little luck. What they did find, however, were lots of little chicks which were following them around everywhere they went. John thought it was really
annoying. The two Maries, who also helped looking, thought they were cute. After they looked West, North and South of the mountain, finally they started to look East. The eggs they found there were different. They were much bigger. It sometimes happened that someone would accidentally break an egg while listening if Jebus was in there. When this happened at the East side of the mountain they found out that the eggs were made of… chocolate! Others were made of other kinds of candy. The friends got really excited and started to eat many of the eggs. They had gotten quite hungry from all the searching.
Then, all of the sudden John stopped and looked amazed at an enormous egg. Pete, who was listening to an egg right behind John, hadn’t noticed it. John tapped Pete on the shoulder to point out what he had found. They were both amazed. The others joined them.
The egg was gigantic. It was brown and had a ribbon around it, but at the side the egg was broken, there was a hole. Pete and Mary decided to look inside. It was very dark. They decided to break the egg a bit more to let some light in. Then they saw there, lying in the middle of the egg: Jebus’ ice skates. They had found… the Easter egg.
And that’s the Easter Story. Happy Easter everybody!