The Terrors of Fame

As one of Ireland’s celebrities, life is getting harder and harder for me. Fans everywhere, calls from people that don’t say anything, and I won’t even start about the members of fan clubs trying to ask me questions while I walk to Trinity or to the store, leeches I call them.

This morning as I walked to Trinity there were three more leeches on the way. All members of Unizef. I did what I always do, just pretend I don’t see or hear them, even though their jackets are very clear about their obsession.

Yesterday, however, I found something more disturbing. It turns out some musician called “Didier Malherbe” has released an album about me, a few years ago already.

Even though it is called “Zeff”, it’s pretty obvious who it is about. The additional ‘f’ just gives him the opportunity to deny everything. This guy is crazy. I know I’m hard to resist, but this… look at the first seven track names:

1. Zeff dance
2. Zeff Waves
3. drole de Zeff
4. Zeff over the dunes
5. Zeff up
6. Zeffing away
7. Zeff in the box

It’s sick, I’m even a verb! Don’t believe the CD exists? Look at iTunes Music Store, look here, they’re selling it!

It’s getting worse and worse. In Latvia they even have candy named after me (Zefirs):

Believe me, fame is not all they make you believe it is.

Having said that, anyone want my autograph?