The Emperor’s New Computer

I lot of people are talking about “this review of the Mac Mini”: The reason is obvious, as the reviewer slaughters the new Mac Mini. What’s weird is that people take this review seriously. Do you really think he means what he’s saying? Let’s go through some essential parts of the review.

My curiosity piqued by the pronouncement of a $499 computer from Apple, I checked out to look up its specs. While the hardware is about roughly equivalent to a Windows PC circa 1995, what got me interested were Apple’s claims about its size, weight and footprint.

1995? What specs did PCs have back then? 133Mhz? Probably even less. The Mac Mini has a 1.2Ghz processor. This makes no sense at all.

Mac Mini

…I could get a Mac mini computer for $499 and have no keyboard or mouse, no serial ports, no way to connect a printer, no PS/2 ports, no floppy drive, no 5.25″ bays, no PCI slots, no speakers, and no Windows XP…


…or I could grab an equally stylish, full-featured eMachine at the gas station with a bag of chips for less than half the Mini’s price, with the added benefit of being able to run Windows XP. Decisions, decisions.

Equally stylish? Don’t make me laugh.

While there is a Mac-style “donnnnggggg” when the Mini is first turned on, during normal operation the unit makes no sound whatsoever. This could make it very difficult for a novice user to know whether or not the computer is on.

Although I think this is a creatively found drawback, the advantage of producing no sound are much bigger than the disadvantages. So much in fact that he can’t possibly be serious.

The Mini boots up into a stripped-down operating system which Apple calls OS X, similar to the stripped-down WindowsCE OS found on many handhelds.


For example, there is no Outlook Express for email, but Apple includes a program called Mail, which is like a stripped-down email client that can’t execute scripts or open attachments without user intervention. Personally I find it annoying, but if someone doesn’t depend on emailing their coworkers vbscripts like I do, they might be able to get by with it.

OK, it should be obvious by now. This guy can’t possibly be serious.

My Office 2003 CD would not install, despite claims I had heard from Mac fanboys that OS X is compatible with Office. Heck, the Internet Explorer icon isn’t even out on the taskbar by default, it’s buried in the c:applications folder.


People, this guy is kidding!

At least, I very, very, very much hope so.